Story and photos by Connie Cronley
I’ve had lots of fantasies in my life — Miss America, Pulitzer Prize winner, lottery champion — but the most luxuriant daydream of all is a life of unimaginable indulgence and pampering. It is a satin-pillow lifestyle catering to my creature comfort. It is a daily regimen of indulgence and privilege. It is the most coddled, spoiled, and cherished life I can imagine — being my own pet.
If I were my own pet, I would have a private chef, a chauffeur, a hairstylist on call, a personal shopper, a maid and valet, a gardener, an interior decorator jumping to my whims, an entertainer to amuse me, a nursing assistant, a tour guide for special outings, a daily companion, and a nightly bedmate. I am all of those things myself, on the delivery end. My pets — cats and dogs of all sizes and stripes — have been on the receiving end.
Yet I feel there are always the questions hanging in the air: “Is it enough? Couldn’t I do just a little more?” Whoever said our pets ask so little of us didn’t get it right. We’re the ones, the caretakers and owners, who worry that we’re not doing enough to express our love and protection.
Mutual Benefits
When I think of the pets in my life, I see relationships that were mutually beneficial:
Bucky, a big, scary dog with anxiety, let himself be loved and sheltered as he showed me the depths of loyalty.
Lola, a rescued pregnant cat, relinquished her life of freedom to please me and live inside with only rare escapes outdoors, where she raced to the top of the chimney while I jumped up and down below like a frantic Rumpelstiltskin.
Midnight, a long-haired tuxedo cat who preferred me to his house next door, taught me how to focus on a true desire — sleeping on the big bed.
Bingo, a mistreated yellow Lab, came into my house demonstrating profound gratitude for an indoor life of safety.
Muriel, a confident long-haired cat, taught me the importance of self-worth.
Phoebe, a calico Manx, taught me how to grieve when her best cat friend died.
Abigail, a petite long-haired cat, taught me the joy of self-dramatization. She was as emotional as a Puccini aria.
Zeke has taught me the pleasure of command, setting the time for meals, bedtime, and wakeup. Who knew that a springer spaniel could sound reveille?
I’ve shared my home with so many more pets — Isabelle, Veronica, Jesse, Mitzie, Ellie, Louie, William, Sophie — each with an individual and distinctive personality. Each taught me something about life and love. Each was a painful loss. “You’d think it gets easier when a pet dies,” my friend Patti said, “but it doesn’t. It gets harder.”
Why do we do it again and again?
Because the joy of living with them is so great.
Indulgences
Why do we spoil and indulge them? Because they deserve it, and we love doing it. Many people — and I’m talking to you — buy a special treat, fancy collar, or favorite toy occasionally. Those who can afford to spend more do so.
I knew a man who kept a Cadillac Eldorado convertible in the drive for his dog Buster to sleep in.
Some wealthy pet owners have custom-built pet houses. Rachel Hunter, a New Zealand model and former wife of Rod Stewart, reportedly spent $30,000 to build her German shepherd and Labrador retriever a small backyard replica of her own California Mexican-style hacienda. Forbes magazine reported that the deluxe doggy house had ornately carved front doors, turrets with red clay tiles, terra-cotta floors, and window flower baskets.
That was small beer compared to the $325,000 Spanish-style mini villa Paris Hilton built for her dog. The two-story doggy mansion featured pink walls, designer furniture, wrought-iron staircase, black chandelier and — of course — air-conditioning.
I know a woman who booked a flight to Paris for her dog on BARK Air, a private airline service with what the website described as in-flight “concierge services” for “extraordinary dogs.” Flights are offered to New York, Los Angeles, London, Paris, Fort Lauderdale, Lisbon, Seattle, and Madrid. A one-way ticket ranges from $6,000 to $8,000.
Who doesn’t know someone who has thrown a party for a pet? Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra Jonas had a party for their German shepherd–Australian husky mix with a bone-shaped custom cake made from dog treats.
Lots of luxe brands offer designer pet clothing and accessories — Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Hermès — but I know of only one, Dolce & Gabbana, that created a $104 dog perfume. A bottle comes with a dog collar and tag. The scent was inspired by Italian designer Domenico Dolce’s poodle Fefé. The fragrance is described as an “olfactory masterpiece.”
Of course. Nothing less for a beloved pet.
