by Nancy Gallimore
I have a new puppy. I did not mean to get a puppy. But I have known this special boy since he took his first squeaky breath, and when the opportunity to make him mine knocked, I wasn’t about to say no. So here we are, fully immersed in playful, cuddly, puppy-breath glory.
Fortunately, I’m not a rookie at the puppy game. Dogs have been my life, my passion, and even my profession for more years than I have fingers and toes. My new little protégé is a beautiful Dalmatian puppy I have named Colt. The name fits. He zooms through the house and yard on growing legs with feet that are comically large for his frame. He is bright, outgoing, and has a wagging tail that rarely rests. His genetics have given him a great start in life. Now it’s my job to keep him on this happy course.
I could preach for hours about puppy training, various methods, and things you should start to teach a young puppy right away. Sit, down, come — we’re all familiar with those important skills. There are potty training and crate training. And perhaps most important in these first formative months, puppies need to experience the sights, sounds, smells, places, people, and other critters that are part of their expanding world.
Be Nice to Your Puppy
As I begin this journey with Colt, I want to share one important technique for shaping a confident, friendly young dog. You might think I’m going to talk about treats, special collars, harnesses, routines, and schedules.
Instead, I’m going to sum up my best training advice in two words: Be nice.
Be nice to your puppy. Learn to see the world as your puppy sees it. For at least eight weeks, a puppy knows only the comfort of routine within his little family unit. Eat, sleep, play, snuggle, pee, poop, repeat — and not necessarily in that order.
But then there comes a day when that all abruptly changes. New hands pick up that little puppy and whisk him away to a whole new world with unfamiliar places, people, and expectations thrust at him very quickly. When you really think about it, all new-puppy owners are involved in a well-meaning kidnapping. That puts it in perspective, doesn’t it?
Of course, puppies must move on to new homes and families of their own. It’s a good thing, right? But now you need to find a way to explain that to your new puppy, whose whole world was just turned upside down.
Despite decades of advancement in science-based, positive-focused dog training, I find that many humans want to fall back to dominance-based methods. You’re told you must be the boss. You must be strict and quick to enforce the house rules. Be the alpha! But is that really the relationship you want with your sweet puppy?
As humans, we are quick to correct. The puppy pees on the living room rug, and we react, “NO! Bad puppy!” Maybe we run at the puppy, causing him to startle and cower. Maybe we scoop the puppy up and scold him.
What do you think the puppy learned in that moment? Did he learn the huge lesson that he should not pee on your rug but instead should wait to potty in the backyard? Did that intimidating display on your part teach him or did it cause confusion and fear?
One moment, he was simply emptying his bladder, and the next, he was startled and scolded. To a puppy’s brain, that experience might unintentionally teach him to go hide somewhere else in the house to relieve himself. And when you do take him outside for a proper toileting break, how willing do you think he will be to potty with you watching?
I look at a new puppy as a beautiful little ball of clay. It’s my job to gently mold that clay into a clever, confident, willing companion. I don’t want my puppy to know confusion or fear as he grows, and I certainly don’t want him to know pain. I want to establish meaningful communication with my new puppy. I want to understand the world from his point of view and work forward from there.
If I ever see my puppy looking at me with an expression that could be construed as guilt but is more likely confusion or fear, I know I have failed as his teacher. True learning does not take place in a stressful environment.
So let’s be proactive instead of reactive in dealing with our new best friends. Let’s take off the alpha-theory crown (an archaic and ineffective method) and instead be fair leaders and teachers. After all, aren’t the best leaders those who coach, guide, and inspire? Intimidation has no place in that model.
Be Your Puppy’s Advocate
Now I will give you my second favorite training tip: Be your puppy’s advocate.
If you are working with a trainer and your puppy is stressed or if you don’t feel comfortable with the methods being used, stand up for your puppy. Say thanks, but no thanks. Don’t let anyone convince you to treat your puppy in a manner you don’t like.
A lot of great trainers are available who can teach you how to help your puppy learn great house skills and manners using positive, cooperative techniques. Training should always be a fun experience for you and your puppy.
I’m amazed at all the things Colt has already learned in his tiny new life. He now hops happily into his crate on request and is rewarded with a tasty treat. He is house-trained with supervision and knows that going to potty outside is cause for celebration.
He loves to go out into the world to see, sniff, and experience new places, and he always makes friends along the way. He proudly knows how to sit, down, and stand. He has learned that running to me when I call his name is always a “Good boy” thing to do. And each day, he learns more about how to fit into our world, while we also learn to fit into his.
So when you catch yourself about to give your puppy a correction, hit “pause” and ask yourself what your puppy might experience in that moment. What will the puppy learn?
Then take a therapeutic whiff of that puppy breath and relax. That little accident on the rug is no big deal, just a reminder that you need to supervise better. The shoelace that can no longer fashion a bow is your cue to put your shoes away and get your puppy refocused on a chew toy. The puppy crying in his crate at 2:00 a.m. isn’t trying to annoy you, he just needs a quick run to the yard. It’s a temporary appointment that will fade with time and a bigger bladder.
We travel from Point A with a cuddly puppy to Point Z with a silver-muzzled old friend. And all those letters in between represent choices. As I look down at Colt curled in my lap, eyes blinking sleepily, I know that the joy my accidental puppy brings to my life will far outweigh the work and time it takes to teach him the ropes in this very humancentric world. And from Point A to Point Z, I promise him I’m going to always choose to be nice.
Cutlines
Life is exciting for Colt as he learns to navigate his new world.
Photo by Nancy Gallimore.
Colt heads out on a socializing adventure. Photo by Jim Thomason.
